Thursday Feb. 17th -
I went to work, did sub plans for Friday because my family was coming into town, and went to what I thought was a regular Drs. appt. Now I know I was trying to convince myself everything was fine, but really my appt. 2 weeks ago had resulted in a trip to the hospital and I had been really swollen and kind of knew something wasn't right...but I felt fine, my family was coming from Southern Calif, we were having a super cute baby shower and a four day weekend...I didn't have time for anything to be different. It was all good, right?
WRONG. so very very wrong.
I got my blood pressure taken, they tested my urine and "poof"...life changed.
The quote from my doctor was"Corey, you are going to the hospital and you will not be coming out for awhile and probably not without a baby."
Wait a second...um..what??
I somehow drove to the high school to get Adam from basketball practice, went home, stood in my bedroom for two minutes trying to decide what one brings when being sent to the emergency room, couldn't think of anything so went with the clothes on my back and left. All of that is still kind of a blur...
The morning of Friday Feb 18th -
I was told what I officially did NOT want to hear - I was being put on bedrest from work. I know that shouldn't be huge, but if you're a teacher, you'd understand. I still had report cards to do, files to organize, a crazy busy week ahead...bedrest was not an option. Anyway, Adam and I had spent all of Thursday night with me getting my blood pressure checked, having my blood tested and doing another 24 hour urine screen. The whole time we kept thinking the doctor would just come back, say I'd have to take it easy and send me home. Again, I was still in denial, denial, denial about how sick I really was....
The results came back with "impressive" protein amounts in my urine (as in off the charts bad!), bad blood work and high blood pressure readings. .Not good. I was told not only would I not be going home. I was going to be induced and having a baby soon. Yikes!
Friday night, Feb 18th:
I was put on an IV of magnesium sulfate (aka the "devil" drug) to keep me from having a seizure, given steriods to help the baby's lungs fully developed and was told they would be inducing within the next 24 hours.
Magnesium is a iv drip that, let's just say, sucks. I mean I am thankful it did it's job, but it hurts going in your arm and makes you feel beyond drugged. Yucky feeling when you are trying to wrap your head around the idea that your son is coming 6 weeks early. There were lots of doctors and nurses that talked to us about lots of things and I don't remember much of it. I know people came in and out of my room all night to check on me, take blood, take blood pressure readings and that there was a monitor hooked up to me and the baby the whole time...but I was pretty out of it.
Saturday afternoon, Feb 19th:
Around 2 pm, the doctor decided to start inducing labor. To begin they checked my cervix only to find out low and behold, I was already dialted to 3 cm! Who knows how long that had been that way, but apparently I was already in labor! I guess the baby knew he was coming early. Adam had a really big playoff basketball game at 8pm. He had been debating and debating about going because even though I was dialted, I was basically just in and out of sleep by this point and the doctor was still waiting to give me anything else to induce labor. He decided to go (with my encouragemnt and knowing he literally could be back in 10 minutes). My mom and sister came to keep me company. I was given pirtosin to induce labor and I began having contractions. At 9:30, my water broke. I was still in a really weird, drugged state of mind, but I was in active labor! I kicked my mom and sister out, Adam walked in the door and I had about an hours of pretty painful contractions. All the tricks about how to move labor along and manage pain we had learned at our birthing class, could not happen for me because I was on an IV...no walking, too unstable and drugged to move around too much, can't sit or squat or any of that. But my husband was fantastic and we made it until I was able to get the epidural.
Here's my opinion on an epidural....do it....definitely do it. It makes you go from extreme pain to laying in bed sleeping for 4 hours. I had the weirdest, most crazy thoughts and dreams for a few hours because I was still on the magenisium, and was now numb from the waist down, but it was still worth it!
4:30 am. Sunday, Feb 20th.
After "sleeping" and contracting for hours, something started to hurt - bad. The nurse, who was from Texas and called me "sugar," came in, said we were ready and I started pushing. I pushed for about an hour (which was acutally not all that bad) and then he was out. My beautiful baby boy came out screaming at exactly 5:30am. He only weighed 5 pounds 5 ounces, but was screaming his head off (which is the greastest sound ever...)
Now comes the SUPER hard part. We knew Caleb was early....6 weeks early in fact. So he was going to have to go straight to the NICU. This was all explained to me before they induced labor, but in that moment, when your baby is whisked away and you don't know where he is going or if he is okay -heart breaking doesn't describe it. I got to look at him for 1 minute and then he was off to the NICU. Adam went with him which put my mind at ease a bit. Then I was laying there waiting, and waiting, and waiting. The doctor and the resident suddenly turned into two more people and they are talking about what ot do and what is happening and although I am not in pain, all I want to do is go be with my baby! Turns out my cervix had torn and they spent an hour trying to repair a bleed. This whole moment, the moment I had waited so long for, the moment when I meet my baby for the first time is now just a blur...makes me sad even now to think about it.
Sometime around 7 am, Sunday, Feb 20th - I finally got to go to the NICU to see my baby. I wanted so much to just be with him, but I literally could not keep my eyes open and was weak from losing blood. I said a prayer, took a deep breath knowing he was resting peacefully in the care of the nurses and went to bed. I fell asleep instantly. Adam went home to get some sleep and shower. A few hours later I woke up to what I now think of as my "out of body" experience. Not to be gross, but I woke up knowing I had just wet the bed. But, this didn't just feel like I peed my pants, it was more like my insides were falling out! I called the nurse and said something was wrong and, again the next minutes are a blur. I know I was bleeding...a lot...and I know there were 6 nurses and doctors all around me, talking to me, telling me what they were doing and the whole time I was just praying that God would protect me. I kept bleeding and bleeding and it hurt and they were sticking me with new drugs and IV's and pushing on my abdomen and it was the worst thing ever. I somehow called my mom (because everyone had gone home and I was alone). I told her I was bleeeding and she said "well call a nurse"...umm yeah mom, there are already 6 of them here. Once she figured out what I was trying to say, she came right to the hospital to be with me.
When it was all over I was incredibly weak, had yet another IV in my arm and spent the rest of the afternoon in and out of sleep.
That night I know I saw Caleb again, but it wasn't until the next morning that everything was made right again.
Monday, February 21st
I know I went to the NICU, I know I was still pretty weak and drugged, but I also know I held my son for the first time and I remember literally feeling like I had been holding my breath for 5 days and could finally breathe again. They put Caleb skin to skin with me, tucked him right there on my chest and I just breathed in and out...
I knew in that moment that everything from trying to conceive him until he was here was worth it. We had made it through the challenges and disappoinments and excitement and pain and tears of fear and the tears of joy and the whole time God had been with us and had finally brought my baby and I together.
Now Caleb is here and my life will never, ever be the same. Although his birth didn't happen exactly how I thought it would and both he and I are working on getting stronger every day, he is here and nothing else matters.
Thank you God for my baby boy. Thank you for the nurses and doctors that took care of me and are continuing to take care of my baby. Thank you for my husband who has been and continues to be so strong and exactly what I need. Thank you that Caleb is growing stronger every day and should be home with us in the next week. Thank you for changing my life in miraculous ways!
No comments:
Post a Comment